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i’m a nice person i just hate everyone 

liveinphoenix

boundtobeforgotten:

danisnotonfire:

This is the story of the worst day of my life. The time I got sun stroke.

Dan: *puts potato in mouth* ”It’s a metaphor.”

cornfuse:

cornfuse:

thirstiest:

why do people like fall

gravity

NO WAIT I MISUNDERSTOOD

thirstiest

bunnyhoodlum:

*asks mom if she can buy something for me in september*

"no christmas is coming"

molgera

scornedsam:

do you ever see a headcanon so incorrect you have to sit down for a little bit

scornedsam

notbolin:

if october to january isn’t your favorite time of the year you’re wrong

  • Baby: A-aaaa...
  • Mom: *gasps* baby's first word!
  • Baby: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN. THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING. IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR. I HAVE WATCHED YOUR ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE UNFOLD. I HAVE OBSERVED YOU WHILE YOU WOULD QUAKE AND TREMBLE IN PERSONAL PRAYERS OF SHAME. WHILE YOU PLEADED FORGIVENESS FOR BEING SUCH A WRETCHED DISGUSTING FAILURE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL. PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE. IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. SHRIEKED BY THE TEN THOUSAND ROWDY SHOUT SPHINCTERS PEPPERING THE GRUESOME UNDERBELLY OF THE MOST TRUCULENT GOD THE FURTHEST RING CAN MUSTER. IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE. IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.
rnatesprits

romanovastiel:

Treat yourself the way you treat your favorite characters. Look into your back-story to understand your current plot. Sympathize with yourself. Recognize your flaws, and appreciate your strengths. Defend yourself. Cheer yourself on when you go into battle. Appreciate every relationship you make and always look for hidden potential. You’re the protagonist in your story. You’re the main character. You’re the hero.

Treat yourself like one.

romanovastiel

An AU where for your entire life you’ve only seen black and white, until you receive the first touch from your soulmate and color blooms before your very eyes. The color’s don’t stay when you’re alone, but when they’re there by your side and you’re touching? Everything is beautiful.

An AU where for your entire life you’ve only seen black and white, until you receive the first touch from your soulmate and color blooms before your very eyes. The color’s don’t stay when you’re alone, but when they’re there by your side and you’re touching? Everything is beautiful.

saltxxxburn

elux:

I’ve played entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen

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